Blogtrax

I’m spending a lot of time again thinking about my blog. I posted before about how fast moving this liquid world is and I was reminded of this talking to Dr J on the phone today. Even the affinity space is changing. Trois Tetes is silent, Mary Plain and Simply Clare have entered the arena. Strange thing I thought I heard their voices, and the geographical information suggested I might know them, but I was reluctant to reach any conclusions. Dr J revealed their true identity and only then did I feel OK about linking them on my blog. There’s something about inclusion in a social network here …that and the overlapping of real and virtual worlds.

Play, not surprisingly, is also on my mind (as a result of the up-coming ESRC series). I’ve been thinking about blog play and message play. The latter seems quite straight forward since it’s an extension or development of informal language games. But, blog play? Well blogs are quite playful…they can be frivolous (but not necessarily), they are boundary-blurring, but also they can be a bit like work, too. Can the blogosphere be seen as a play space? The play

…becomes an experience changing the person who experiences it…For play has its own essence, independent of the conciousness of those who play. Play also exists - indeed properly…where there are no subjects who are behaving ‘playfully’…The players are not the subjects of the play; instead the play merely reaches representation through the player.
(Gadamer, 1982)

‘The existential question of self identity is bound up with the fragile nature of the biography which the individual ’supplies’ about herself.A person’s identity is not to be found in behaviour, nor - important though this is - in the reactions of others, but in the capacity to keep a particular narrative going. The individual’s biography, if she is to maintain regular interaction with others in the day-to-day world, cannot be wholly fictive. It must continually integrate events which occur in the external world, and sort them into the ongoing ’story’ about the self.’ (Giddens 1991: 54).

Yes that’s what I do; in my blog this is what I do. I have an ongoing story. But I think we have several ongoing stories. I also think that if we bear in mind a particular audience, we change our story to suit them and ths change our notion of who we are according to our audience.

So as Guy says, I use lots of pictures at the moment. What am I saying? I think I am saying I believe the visual is really imortant. But more than that, I am building up layers of semiotics because I want all these to be taken into consideration alongside the words I write. I think I am trying to bring my ‘hinterland’ to the fore. It is showing off in mnay ways.

*Gauntlett,D. (2002) in Media Gender and Identity Routledge page 99

Even though my blog now normally includes an image with postings, it’s still mostly driven by the words and the links. Often it’s the other way around on Dr Joolz. Yet it would be wrong to suggest that my blog ignores the visual. It might not win any prizes for design, but how it looks on screen is important to me. So after a night out in London on Saturday I blogged ‘The kids are all right!’ post. Some how it came out with a huge space under the photo and the text was wrongly aligned. It really played on my mind all day Sunday. This morning I decided to re-do it and this meant wiping out 2 comments. A bit of a dilemma. What’s more important authenticity, comment or appearance? Clearly for me my blog deshabille is an embarrassment…and smartening up took precedence.

Guy mentioned that he did not want to bore readers. This is a strong sense of audience; the one to many. And then there is also the shared responsibilityof this site. We are two voices ; we have a shared purpose, to explore the idea of blogs, of us as bloggers, the ‘blogosphere’ . But for each other we are a slightly different audience, I feel.
As time has gone on I have realised that commenters give me a strong sense of audience and I tend to write, thinking about vthem. I don’t just pander, but I find it helpful to think of ‘real people’ who may read.

But in this blog I am also thinking about the ’strong academic’; the ones I don’t know who I don’t want to think this siter is too trivial. But then again I am happy about the ideas being musings, unshaped.

Seems like a phased re-entry into blogger culture. Just started looking at some of my favourites on a regular basis and realise how intertwined the blog consumption and production is. It’s the one-to-many/many-to-one aspect of affinity. You really need to participate.
I’m an habitual scribbler, preferring writing to pictures, and so the regular recording of events, ideas or observations is in the blood. In some ways there’s some continuity in blogging. But, with the exception of the above, journal writing is private. It’s old technology, a more private, less connected way of being. I write what I like.
On my personal blog there are some different considerations. I wouldn’t wish to bore readers with unfiltered outpourings. So there are some, admittedly fuzzy, boundaries. There’s also some themes - gadgets; footprints; web’s wonders; new literacy; music; and me - although, interestingly enough, I’ve never conciously decided on these, they’ve just emerged over time. I guess I’ve constructed and performed a blogger identity which overlaps at points with my social/professional worlds.

‘And that’s before I start catching up on all the other posts in my networks. I think I’ve decided it’s pointless trying to catch up on anything I’ve missed. Do you really miss stuff? Missing stuff implies that there’s a sort of ideal state in which you’ve read everything by everybody. Anyway that was just the feeling I had.’

I know just what Guy means here; I feel I am missing out all the time because I cannot read everything everyday. There is this desperate thing that one must run very fast to stay in the same place. I am sure this is not just with academic life but with everything. Every type of life.

Am beginning o feel that my DrJoolz space is a ‘doing friendship’ space at the moment. Maybe because it is the summer.

Guy I am glad you are back as it will give this thing new momentum … I re-gained it when I moved us to the new place, but I have started to doze again.

Adrift from my social/virtual networks for nearly 6 months makes it quite interesting (interesting and scary) to begin participating again. I’ve been doing a fair bit of txting and messaging, but that’s all one-to-one stuff and I must say I left the blogging thing till last. Why? Well it’s an affinity thing and when you’ve been out of the loop it’s like starting all over again. One-to-many, more a performance, a performance of a blogging identity that’s been mothballed. You know how time moves fast with bloggers and digital culture in general and I had the feeling I had lots of homework to do. For a start there’s this great looking, but unfamiliar writing space for Blogtrax…some new tools here, but it looks very good. (I’m glad Dr J did this, it’s obviously an improvement - I’ve got lots to learn!). Then there’s all the posts on here I haven’t read yet. And that’s before I start catching up on all the other posts in my networks. I think I’ve decided it’s pointless trying to catch up on anything I’ve missed. Do you really miss stuff? Missing stuff implies that there’s a sort of ideal state in which you’ve read everything by everybody. Anyway that was just the feeling I had.
Finally, today, after thinking about it and then trying to avoid thinking about it and then trying to do it without thinking about it too much I plunged in. Blogged my first post on my personal blog and then forgot about it. A couple of hours later found myself thinking that people who used to read it must have, by now, given up even thinking about it, let alone visiting it. So, that’s interesting. Just as it was when I started. No audience. Then slowly I realised that some of my friends were checking it. I can watch this happen again and note that here.
On Flickr - I think that’s now quite definitely in this research frame - a few new comments (nice) and a whole new distribution of views. So what was popular when I left has now sunk down the charts and some wall-art, at first almost ignored, has attracted attention. Anyway, here I am again, posting in this new place and secretly hoping that it won’t come out all wonky and show me up!